There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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