the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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