I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize