Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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