oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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