She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
