please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
