You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
