Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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