Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
