I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize