Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
