You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
