"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
