i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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