somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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