Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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