Well apparently he's into motor boating.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
