I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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