i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
