just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm like, not good at living.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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