I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
