I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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