we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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