im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
