haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you win again, gameday.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
