This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Randomize
