States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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