Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
