Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
