i don't like sucking hair
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
