we have officially lost it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
