so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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