wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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