White coat. Heels.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Randomize
