I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
