Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
