LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
