If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
