So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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