haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
