That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
