i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
