forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
