and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
