take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
