did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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