sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize