Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
