There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
