Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
