WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
