did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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