i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
