She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
