i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
