I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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