i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
