There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
