just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
