she was so not down for the gang bang
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
