i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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