Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize