i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
