I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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