Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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