Plan B is the new Plan A
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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